CONFIDENTIAL. 0600 hours: Tan forces captured Bravo Company Commandos. General Plastro has new weapons of mass destruction: magnifying glass; M-80 firecrackers and the garbage disposal. This is a job for Sarge. Requisition M-60s; shotguns; bazookas; flame throwers; grenades; sniper rifles; mortars; mine sweepers and plenty of ammo. Good luck; soldier.